Definitions:
Shotgun – The front passenger seat of the vehicle.
Outside – Any place out of doors.
Bitch – The middle back seat
On attaining shotgun:
The position of shotgun may be achieved through several methods:
Once the intention has been made clear that the party is headed towards the vehicle, any person may lay claim to the position of shotgun by simply saying the word, ‘Shotgun’ once that person is deemed to be outside. The vehicle does not have to be in sight for the position of shotgun to be claimed verbally.
Any person may also lay claim to the position of shotgun by placing his or her hand on the front passenger door handle of the vehicle before the position has been claimed verbally. This method contains all of the rights and priveleges of the first method, and any person witnessing such an event may feel free to compliment the person now riding in shotgun on his or her feat of style.
Rules:
The person attempting to lay claim to the position of shotgun must have a witness to verify that the claim took place in a legitimate manner.
If there are multiple vehicles, the person that claimed the position of shotgun first has first priority over choice of vehicles. If there are more than two vehicles, the priority of choice will continue on in such a fashion until the position of shotgun has been filled in all vehicles.
If the person that has lay claim to the position of shotgun attempts to open the door while the unlocking mechanism is still functioning, causing the door to remain locked, this is considered a balk. In this event, the offender must reclaim it verbally. If another person is able to claim the position before the offender has a chance to, then the claim transfers to that person.
If the owner of a vehicle, for any reason, chooses not to drive his or her vehicle, they automatically have claim to the position of shotgun in that vehicle. They may take it or give it as they see fit.
If the owner of a vehicle has a significant other present, then the significant other automatically has claim to the position of shotgun in that vehicle. They may take it or give it as they see fit.
There’s no such thing as a ‘bank stop’. The definition of what is and what is not a bank stop is subjective and questionable at best. If the current occupier of shotgun exits the vehicle, then the claim may be made verbally by any person.
Any person may choose to leave his or her friends behind in order to lay claim to the position of shotgun. However, that person must accept the consequences of his or her action.
On attaining ‘Not Bitch’
If the vehicle will be filled to capacity, and the position of shotgun has already been claimed, then the first x amount of people, where x is the capacity of the back seat minus bitch positions, to proclaim, ‘Not Bitch’ are granted the privilege of not sitting bitch. For example, if there are three seats in the back, the first two people to proclaim, ‘Not Bitch’ are granted the window seats. If there are two rows of back seats, the first four people to proclaim, ‘Not Bitch’ are granted the window seats.
If the vehicle will be filled to greater than capacity, then the positions of secondary bitch, tertiary bitch, etc. are created. Basic ‘Not Bitch’ principles still apply, but now a person may claim ‘Not Secondary Bitch’, if that person doesn’t feel comfortable laying across the other three, for example.
Do not attempt to lay claim to a ‘Not Bitch’ position if the vehicle will have vacant seats. You will be laughed at, and rightfully so.
Exceptions:
Road Trips – On road trips, it is generally accepted that the position of shotgun will be rotated in an equitable manner, as will any other desirable seats. Also, the current occupier serves as the navigator and the driver’s assistant.
The owner of the vehicle has final say in all disputes and seating positions.